Posts filed under 'Humor'
Gateway’s The Simpson + Shobeceo
Gateway Cineplex features The Simpson (Movie) with a 3D caricature at the entrance door of Cinema 2, (if I’m not mistaken)…well, I haven’t watched it but I had a picture with them..hahaha…it’s cool… ^_^
Add comment August 22nd, 2007
May tatalo ba dito? heheh ^_^
1. I couldn’t care a damn!
2. What’s your next class before this? (wag na lang kaya tayong pumasok?)
3. Nothing in this world is perfect except the word “change”
4. Can you repeat that for the second time around once more from the top? (redundant ba ito?)
5. My dad brought home a lot of hand-me-downs! (Translation: Daming
pasalubong ng tatay ko…)
6. Standard and Chartered Bank
7. I’m very iterated!!! (ha? ok.)
8. I’m sorry, my boss just passed away. (translation: kakadaan lang ng boss nya…)
9. Hello, my boss is out of town. Would you like to wait? (now why didn’t i think of that?)
10. What happened after the erection of Mayon Volcano? (they had babies?)
11. Don’t touch me not! (e di wag)
12. Hello?… For a while, please hang yourself… (suicide hotline?)
13. It’s spilled milk under the bridge.
14. Don’t change anything! Keep it at ease. (yeah… right)
15. Hello McDo? Mag-i-inquire lang ako kung magkano ang kidney meal? (yung pang-batang pagkain…)
16. You!!! You’re not a boy anymore! You’re a man anymore!
17. Out of fit ako these days eh… (translation: di sya nakakapag-exercise. ..)
18. Come, let’s join us!
19. Bring down the house down!
20. I’m the world champion of the World!!!
21. Beneath the Belt! (malalim nga to)
22. Can you repeat it once again?
23. Mukhang haggard-looking. (stresstabs lang yan)
24. Do you have more brighter ideas?
25. Halatang obvious naman yata.
26. Wag ka nang photo-conscious! (or camera-shy ba dapat yon?)
Add comment August 14th, 2007
MGA SABLAY NA HIRIT…
“Well well well. Look do we have here!”
“It’s a no-win-win situation.”
“Burn the bridge when you get there.”
“Anulled and void.”
“Mute and academic.”
“C’mon let’s join us!”
“If worse comes to shove.”
“Are you joking my leg?”
“It’s not my problem anymore, it’s your problem anymore.”
“You can never can tell.”
“Been there, been that.”
“Forget it about it.”
“Give him the benefit of the daw.”
“It’s a blessing in the sky.”
“Right there and right then.”
“Where’d you came from?”
“Take things first at a time.”
“You’re barking at the wrong dog.”
“You want to have your cake and bake it too.”
“First and for all.”
“Now and there.”
“I’m only human nature.”
“The sky’s the langit.”
“That’s what I’m talking about it.”
“One of these days is not like the other.”
“So far, so good, so far.”
“Time is of the elements.”
“In the wink of an eye.”
“The feeling is actual.”
“For all intense and purposes.”
“I ran into some errands.”
“Hi. I’m , what’s yours?”
“What is the world is coming to?”
“What is the next that is?”
“Get the most of both worlds.”
“Bahala na sila sa mga batman nila.”
“Whatever you say so.”
“Base-to-base casis.”
“My answers have been prayered.”
“Please me alone!”
‘It’s as brand as new.”
“So… what’s a beautiful girl like you?….”
“I can’t take it anymore of this!”
“Are you sure ka na ba?”
“Can’t you just cut me some slacks?”
Add comment August 14th, 2007
Learn Accounting Terms in a New Light
Asset = Ari
Fixed Asset = Aring Nakatirik
Liquid Asset = Aring Tumutulo
Written-Off Asset = Aring Pinutol
Cut-off Time = Oras ng Pagputol
Depreciation = Pagkalaspag ng Ari
Fully Depreciated Asset = Aring Laspag na Laspag
Earning Asset = Aring Ganado Pa
Non-Earning Asset = Aring Baldado Na
Owned Asset = Sariling Ari
Other Asset = Ari ng Iba
Miscellaneous Asset = Mga Aring Pinagsama-sama
Erroneous Entry = Mali ang Pagkapasok
Double Entry = Dalawa ang Pinasukan
Multiple Entry = Labas Pasok
Correcting Entry = Intinama ang Pagpasok
Reversing Entry = Baligtad ang Pasok
Tangible Asset = Aring Nasasalat
Dispensed = Nilabasan
Undispensed = Hindi Nilabasan
Frozen Asset = Pinatigas na Ari
1 comment June 20th, 2007
Ano ang dapat gawin kung tinatamad kang magtrabaho?
Huwag aabsent.
Huwag male-late.
Pagkaupo mo sa iyong lamesa, buksan isa-isa ang drawer at magkalkal. Kunwari ay may hinahanap.
Pagkatapos mong magkalkal, tumayo ka at tunguhin ang mga filing cabinet. Maghanap ka ng ipis. Kung wala kang mahanap, tingnan mo ang iyong incoming & outgoing tray. Kalkalin at maghanap ng mga natira sa iyong mga kinutkot kahapon. Huwag kakainin muli. Labag sa kagandahang asal.
Kung naglalaway ka sa mga iyon ay kunin mo ang nagamit mong tissue paper na nailagay mo sa iyong frontrawer at ipunas sa laway mo. Pagkatapos ay ilagay muli sa drawer. Maaari mo pang magamit iyon bukas. Malaking katipiran sa iyo.
Kung biglang dumating ang iyong boss, hawakan kaagad ang telepono at magsalita. Kunwari ay tinatanong ka ng iyong kausap tungkol sa mga dokumento. Sumagot ka ng “Oh! I am sorry but I will bring that to your office immediately.” Kumuha kaagad ng kahit anong folder at magpaalam ng maayos at buong giliw sa iyong boss. Lumabas ng nagmamadali.
Pumunta ka sa CR. Magsuklay. Tingnan mabuti ang sarili. Mag-retouch kung babae. Tingnan kung baligtad ang underwear na naisuot at kung lalaki, maghilamos at basain ng konti ang buhok. Magtiris ng mga taghiyawat. Magtagal ng mga limang minuto.
Pagkabalik mo sa iyong opisina, buksan ang computer. Hintaying matapos ang Auto Scan. Marami ring minuto ang magugugol dito. Magbukas ng isang file… Isa pa… at isa pa uli…!!! Pumunta sa ccmail, tingnan ang inbox kung may hindi pa nababasa. Magbasa. Kunwari ay bagong pasok ka lamang sa Grade One.
Pagkatapos ay kunin ang mga dapat gawing report. Titigang mabuti. Pag-aralan ang klase ng papel na ginamit. Bilangin kung ilang words ang nagamit.
Kung may tumawag sa telepono, kaagad sagutin. Huwag mong hayaang ibaba kaagad ng kausap. Kumustahin. Tanungin tungkol sa mga National Issues katulad ng tungkol sa mga jokes kay Erap o kaya ang pagkamatay ni Princess Di. Kumustahin din ang latest style ng kanyang damit pati na kung saan nagpapa-manicure at pedicure. Huwag lalagpas ng isang oras ang pakikipag-usap. Magagalit ang iyong
boss.
Kung may report na tatapusin, tapusin ng eksakto sa deadline hour. Kung may ita-type, magtype ng 10 wpm.
Tunguhin ang mga file na inipon sa loob ng ilang araw. Ayusin isa-isa habang ini-imagine ang sarili na sumasahod ng 15,000 pesos isang buwan. Huwag tatapusin. Magtira ng para sa ilang araw na gawain.
Palaging magtungo sa CR. Kunwari ay may LBM. Palagi ring bumisita sa ibang department, makipagchikahan.
Huwag mong titingnan ang iyong relo habang ginagawa mo ang lahat ng nasa itaas. Kapag ginawa mo iyon ay lalo kang maiinip. Hayaang mag-enjoy ang sarili sa iyong katamaran. Magugulat ka na lamang na “time” na pala para umuwi.
Ayusin ang lamesa na para bang napakarami ng iyong trinabaho. At bago umuwi, dumaan ng CR. Tingnan at hipuin ang mukha kung gaano kakapal. Huwag pansinin ang mga kasamahan na mula umaga ay tingin ng tingin sa iyo. Hindi naman sila ang nagpapasuweldo.
Add comment June 20th, 2007
It’s all in the mind…
Click <more> and test how your mind works…is it wholesome or dirty!?
Add comment June 12th, 2007
Grooming Products to Definitely Change your Life..
ALARMING FINDING: The National Institutes of Health researchers recently found out that certain grooming products can lower the level of testosterone and increase the risk of heart disease, erectile dysfunction, and BOOBS!
The National Institutes of Health conducted a study among young men with breast-tissue development and they discovered that each had been subject to use of lotion, soap, shampoo, or other grooming/vanity products with lavander and/or tea-tree oil. The oils were found to increase the estrogen (female hormone) and decrease androgens (male hormones).
So for the metrosexuals out there, who simply wants good grooming and nothing more…like extra boobs…beware! But no need to panic, if you want to prevent this, just quit lathering up and all side effects will automatically disappear in a few months. On the other hand, this may sound as a good news for gays out there. This is a cheaper way of getting that hump on the chest.
Add comment May 9th, 2007
Here is 10 Reasons to Smile…or Laugh!!!
The screen is attached to the constructor’s head to read what’s on his mind after a traumatic encounter with a mad motorist due to heavy traffic…
What if this was really your name?? (firstname) Moore (middle name) Goode (last name) Dick! LOL…your parents must have hated you when you were born…^_^
Now…this is what really makes the morning cereal so delicious and healthy…
This is Grandpa’s morning exercise after Grandma passed away….
What if they had a fourth child? What do you think will be his/her name? hmmm…
This is what happens to overly studious children…they can’t get their heads off their schoolchair…
This gives one good reason why you shouldn’t go to bed naked!!!
Grandpa had this tattoo just last year…the boy at the tattoo was very hardworking…^_^
Ooohhhh…What a very tasty and tempting hotdog you have there…can i lick….i mean…taste it? 
Now here’s something intellectual…the progression of clothings we were in time due to global warming…
Add comment May 3rd, 2007
English Movies You Should Never Translate to Tagalog
1. black hawk down - ibong maitim sa ibaba
2. dead man’s chest - dodo ng patay
3. i know what you did last summer - uyy… aminin!
4. love, actually - sa totoo lang, pag-ibig
5. million dollar baby - 50 million pisong sanggol (it depends on the
exchange rate of the country)
6. the blair witch project - ang proyekto ng bruhang si blair
7. mary poppins - si mariang may putok
8. snakes on a plane - nag-ahasan sa ere
9. the postman always rings twice - ang kartero kapag dumutdot laging
dalawang beses
10. sum of all fears - takot mo, takot ko, takot nating lahat
11. swordfish - talakitok
12. pretty woman - ganda ng lola mo
13. robin hood, men in tights - si robin hood at ang mga felix bakat
14. four weddings and a funeral - kahit 4 na beses ka pang magpakasal,
mamamatay ka rin
15. the good, the bad and the ugly - ako, ikaw, kayong lahat
16. harry potter and the sorcerer’s stone - adik si harry, tumira ng shabu
17. click - isang pindot ka lang
18. brokeback mountain - may nawasak sa likod ng bundok ng tralala
/bumigay sa bundok
19. the day of the dead - ayaw tumayo (ng mga patay)
20. waterworld - basang-basa
21. there’s something about mary - may kwan sa ano ni maria
22. employee of the month - ang sipsip
23. resident evil - ang biyenan
24. kill bill - kilitiin sa bilbil
25. the grudge - lintik lang ang walang ganti
26. nightmare before christmas - binangungot sa noche buena
27. never been kissed - pangit kasi
28. gone in 60 seconds - 1 round, tulog
29. the fast and the furious - ang bitin, galit
30. too fast, too furious - kapag sobrang bitin, sobrang galit
31. dude, where’s my car - dong, anong level ulit tayo nag-park?
32. beauty and the beast - ang asawa ko at ang nanay nya
33. the lord of the rings - ang alahero
Add comment April 15th, 2007
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