The Cruel World of Law

I finally decided to take the plunge on my fate for law school last December 2006. And that decision changed my life in so many ways. I felt that law school was for me. Last December, I took the UP LAE (sadly, I didn’t pass). Barely a week after UP LAE, a friend invited me to try Ateneo Law, which I declined because I know that I can’t afford it anyway. I will be sending myself to Law school if ever and I know I can’t manage to pay 60K per semester from what I am earning. But I tried the exam anyways…

During the submission of requirements for application, I had to get some recommendation letters from some old professors. Surprisingly, I managed to get all the requirements in one day, after I decided to proceed with my application. However, when I was supposed to finally submit my requirements, the weather didn’t cooperate, I think this was the time of typhoon Reming…I had 3 failed attempts in submitting my requirements at the Ateneo Professional School office at Rockwell. At my last attempt, the office was still close, I asked a friend a favor of submitting my requirements for me. And that’s how I managed to accomplish my requirements.

Then near comes my exam date. My mom got badly ill. She had to be operated for a suspected malignant cancer on her breast. Such a perfect timing to prepare for a law entrance exam with a peaceful mind, an exam that shall serve as a defining moment to a supposed dream career! (sarcastic, of course!) And I earnestly prayed to God, at that time, to help my mom. Even if it will have to take my chance for Law school. Just make my mom well. I was not sure how to go or if I should even go to the exam since my mom’s schedule for operation was pending at that time and might be scheduled at exactly the same date of my exam. But then again..that day passed by and what a relief…exam is done!

So all I had to do was to wait….wait for the next day to worry about…the release of admission test results. April 1, 2007 (April Fool’s Day!!! Bad Ateneo…Bad!). And yes..I was fooled… I was pissed off with the bad joke. Comes April 1, I checked the net for the test results…hoping it was published online so as not to waste time and money going back and forth to Rockwell, just to check on a sheet of paper and go home again…either too happy or too sad! And thanks to Google, the results were there. I found it at the website of the Fraternal Order of Utopia (I think it’s a fraternity/brotherhood of Law students across the country). And when I went on looking for my name..it wasn’t there…checked it 2 times…3 times…and my name isn’t really there.

I had to take a deep breath and tell myself, “the heck…prayer was answered, my mom got well, that’s the prize I raised, that’s the prize I get!” So live for the next day…work…business…love life…family life…what else can I ask for? Becoming a lawyer is just a bonus anyways…I am already a degree holder…there’s nothing else I can ask for!” So I started to accept things the way they are and the fact that maybe law school is not for me. When suddenly, a friend ask me why not try an appeal…he told me that there’s no harm trying and that I shouldn’t leave everything to fate alone…we make our lives. So I decided to browse over the Ateneo website to check for the process for appeal, then I saw the link for the admission results again. I was thinking whether to click the link, check it again, and I might end up just missing out on my name from the list…or to click the link, and get hurt again with the truth that my name is just really not in the list. Well, I guess I am a masochist! I clicked the link and checked for the people on the list whom I know..some old friends…old classmates…so I scrolled down and saw another page saying “Admission Results”..for a while, I told myself that whoever made that site or posted the results was stupid to post a duplicate copy of the result…double the pain for non-passers…I read on and saw a list of passers subject to interview…i was in a shock, surprise, terror, worry, gladness, sadness, and all emotions I could think of…I didn’t know what to feel…and I went thru the list and found my name there…whew!!!

I broke down in tears for not knowing what to feel at that time…but one thing is for sure…I feel so stupid not being able to check on that earlier and wasting my time thinking, worrying, convincing myself, and all…and then I realized…maybe that’s what the April 1 date is for…April FOOL’s Day…but that didn’t end my pain…since I was subject to interview…

I am scheduled for interview last April 16 (6-9 pm)…I was there ahead of time…there were three interviewers…and with the so much luck in my pocket (sarcastic!)..I got the only terror among the three interviewers…while waiting outside for my turn…I kept thinking of the questions that could possible be asked…at least the basic ones…What is law? Why do you want to become a lawyer? Why choose Ateneo Law? etc. But I can’t seem to give myself an answer as to why I want to become a lawyer…kept thinking…but I really don’t know why!

My terror interviewer is way too late for the scheduled time…he arrived 7:30pm and still had the guts to delay starting with the interview because of a certain phone call which lasted for around 10-15 minutes. We started with the interview at around 8pm. I was fourth in line and each one lasted a minimum of 15 minutes. And finally, it is my turn. I plan to shake his hand upon entering the room, greet him good evening, and introduce myself before answering the question, then answer the question and exit. But nothing from my plans happened, except “I entered the room and exit the room”. When I entered the room, he was reading my files so I wasn’t able to shake his hands and I didn’t have the guts to greet him good evening because he looked so terrifying, serious, and not greet-able. So I sat down and waited for him to punch me with his questions. While he… reads my files…checked my transcript of records…checked each subject I took and each grade I got…then faced me and said…”Have any children?” ….can’t laugh…can’t get mad…just answered “No” then smiled. Then he went on asking my family background…my father’s job and my mom’s…asked if I was an honor back then in college…then there was a point I mentioned about taking a previous exam at UP Law…but didn’t make it…to my surprise, there was a question in the application form “Have you ever been rejected to any other law school?” and I checked No. This was so because a friend told me to check NO since there’s a difference between rejected as in dropped-off or kicked-out versus rejected as in never admitted. And so I checked No> Only to realize now that our understanding of the question was completely wrong. He made some markings and I was terrified…I told him my side and he proceeds asking if I’ll continue working if ever I get to go to law school. I answered “yes” and he said it would be hard and that I might want to re-think my decision..consider other law schools or other options. He even mentioned that scholarship grants in Ateneo (a monetary institution, according to him) is barely given unless you are a gifted child or have some special relationship with the Jesuits. Then he asked me what will I do if ever he will never have to see me back to the Ateneo law..I said I’ll be back next year..then he said..”What if I never, as in never, really see you back to Ateneo ever again?”. Then he ended with saying I must really re-think and reconsider other options or chances for my career and that good luck, god bless,and may I finally achieve my lifelong goals and dreams in life.

My interview lasted for at most 5 minutes. No questions as to why law…what is law…why ateneo? And I didn’t know what to feel (for the Nth time). I didn’t know if my interview was short good or short bad??? Would my mistake at the application form trigger a thought that I was lying and shouldn’t be accepted? Or did my transcript of record do the talking for me? THE HELL I DON’T KNOW!!! I didn’t know until April 20, release of interview results…and the freaking answer is ……it was damn short good! I did pass…scheduled for enrollment on May 4, 2007. But that’s not yet the end of the story…it’s just the beginning…of more cycles of worries…relief…worries…and I have reasons to believe there are more of these to come…

10 comments April 21st, 2007